How many chronic relapsers does it take to change a lightbulb? None: chronic relapsers never change anything!
Whats the difference between a hooker and a dealer? After you hit it a hooker can wash her crack and resell it!
So i was thinking the other day; is "you are not alone," a good slogan for someone who is a paranoid schizophrenic and coming off a 3 month crack run?
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender looks at him, pours the shots and watches in amazement as the man drinks them all down. Next the man orders 10 more shots of whiskey, the bartender still amazed at the prior feat, pours 10 more shots: the man once again downs them all. The bartender now utterly blown away says,"i have never seen anyone drink like that!" The man replies,"you'd drink like that to if you had what i had." The bartender asks "what have you got?" "50 cents" the drunk slurs!!! "I was always a social drinker" the drunk proclaimed. " whenever anyone said they were having a drink i always replied,"so shall i!"
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