War Stories

I like a good war story. Every now and then it's refreshing to have someone get up there in front of everyone and remind me of what an ASSHOLE i used to be! Some would still put forth a good argument that, at times, i still resemble the working end of the manure factory. Yea, it's all coming back to me now.......It was the night before Thanksgiving and some of my college buddies had returned home for the pre-turkey day festivities, or should i say the night before Thanksgiving drunkathon. Fred, myself and his brother Adam had been out on the town proving to the world and ourselves, just how much booze we could consume while still holding on to a blade of grass and not falling off the face of the earth! Aah yes, the night was filled with youth full revelry and more than a few "get lost losers" from the local ladies. Yup, we were regular Casanovas that night! After repeated attempts to convince the doorman at the last club we visited that we were not drunk, but merely happy to see each other,(he remained unconvinced;i could tell by the way Fred landed after the doorman threw him) we left in a aggravated mood (not to mention in a hurry; the doorman resembled Hulk Hogan on steroids!). The local police were out in force that night due to the amount of students home from school and out on the town. Suddenly Fred had a great idea: Lets pull down our pants and moon the police! WOW, why didn't i think of that! So no sooner did Fred launch his gem on the world, when a police cruiser appeared behind us while we were walking. Into action we sprang, our should i say staggered, and all three dropped our drawers! Judging by the way the policemen sprang into action, the looks on their faces, and the call for back up, they didn't find it quite as amusing as we did! Fred and Adam quickly pulled up there pants and ran, and i being the consummate drunk that i was, pulled up my pants:and fell on my face! Well, as you could probably guess, thus ends the comedic act in this comedy of errors. To make a long story short, the police administered some overzealous physicality's and i fought back like any drunken asshole would. I was arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated assault on two state troopers, as well as public drunkenness and breach of peace: they dropped the indecent exposure charge on a plea bargain. I would like to tell you all that this was my last drunk, but unfortunately for me, there would be many more. I owe my life to the fellowship, not to mention my new found dignity(which i ask God daily to provide). Without A.A in my life i would still be hopeless and helpless. Thank you Bill Wilson. And for me, am i glad to be sober? You bet my ASS i am!!! ODAAT....Dominick